RiN's 夢 の 森

Ah geez.. i dunno how it could turn out like this myself but,,

somehow i have to join 4 competitions in a row next month???! *WTH?!*

Well, it was my own fault.. but, hey, please, how could i know it'd turn out like this?

i dun understand how come my school doesn't consider about my condition..

at first, i only planned to join P***A competition in certain public university.. and it's already taken most of my time to do all of those scientific research and scientific reports! i dun even hav a proper vacation to complete it! could u belive that? even though it was really rare 4 my school to giv vacation for their students..
*ifeellikeiwannacry*

ok,, it was the beginning of my endless suffering this last 2 months.. then,, here it comes, d 2nd competition.. i was chosen by my english debating coach to join the A**A english debating competition which is claimed as the most prestigious english competition in my country.. <<< and i agreed coz i still had time to prepare it..

the 3rd competition,, suddenly my name popped up on the school announcement board!!! my teacher chose me to join the economy national competition.. *WHAT??* but i couldn't say anything against it.. my name has already been written on d wall, so it's useless to protest now.. aaaaaaaaa i really want to scream.. i dunno whether i was happy or stress anymore. but, ofc i do feel proud at d same time..

and d last one.. last year (actually a few months ago) i was asked by the teacher of my schoolto take the preliminary test for ISDC in diknas.. i agreed. coz it has passed for quite a long time, i thought i was failed on d 2nd round. but again, suddenly a letter was given to me and they said i was chosen as my region's representative in ISDC!! i couldn't believe it myself.. i mean, i only started to debate a few months ago.. so how come i was chosen a my region's representative among many other students.. i also got 2 other teammates. when i met them today, i really got a mental breakdown.. i feel like i was a burden for both of them.. i think i should practice more 4 my english starting from now..

that's why i volunteered myself to join the debating competition on 1-3rd april.. i hope my body will last until the end of this april.. i couldn't get sick after being forced to involve with this so many competitions.. NOOOOOO

Ok,, I want to tell one of my totally embarrassing story. Last Saturday, one of my friend, Olga, enrolled me and my other 2 friends (acul and kacank) to join a cooking contest. *WTH???!* Well, it's not like i dun want to join the competition, but i just fell it doesn't sounds right. I can cook some simple dishes, but i dun have any confidence to join a competition. However, she has already written my name there, so i dun hav any choice other join the competition.

Finally, when we arrived there, we saw so many talented people gathered around and prepared to cook many unbelievable meals. I've felt I was in a wrong place, but I just kept silent and hoped that 3 of my friends could cook well, coz honestly, i've dun believe in my own cooking skill. We even hav to make a traditional dish from my country. *i've never cooked sumthin like that b4*

The worst thing i've imagined really came true. Neither me nor my other friends could cook really well. I even have to cook other dishes! We got spare raw materials, and we made a 'random' recipe based on the spare material we have.. *it's really depressing..* We couldn't finish our dishes properly. "It's not even worthed to try!!!" said one of my friends. The dish was totally messed up. It supposedly to be burnt on a raging fire *what's that?!* The dish isn't increasing your appetite at all. I was so ashamed when I saw other team's finished dishes. They were totally gorgeous and looks delicious. Farrrr way different from ours. Our team even attracted many people because of our actions. Man, I really wanted to dig a deep hole on the ground and hide in it!

When the judge came around to try every team's dish, i don't brave enough to show myself in front of them. I was trying to calm myself down at the time. I thought I could explode like a bomb. My 'sadistic' side almost appeared and I tried really hard to press it. I dun want to ruin my team's mood that was really happy about the contest. Well, i admit the contest was fun because we were able to cook happily, but i couldn't stand being in such a huge crowd and became a centre of attention because of our dish. *I wanted to scream and relieve my stress..*

Pardon me my friends.. TTxTT