RiN's 夢 の 森

A place where the reality lies beneath the illusion

Well I'm sure some of you have heard the terms of "alter ego". You may hear it from your friend, film, internet, etc. But do you know what is alter ego? Maybe some of us think double personality and alter ego is the same, but it's not. So I will share some of my knowledge about alter ego.

This all started from my first session of self-hypnotized that I applied to myself. I never expected that I would meet the other side of myself whom I've never been aware of. Somehow, I could know that person is my alter ego. There are 2 types of people who have alter ego. First one is someone who is completely aware of the existence of the other part of themselves, and the second is the people who doesn't aware of the existence of their alter ego.

Most of the sites in internet define alter ego as : second self, a second personality or persona within a person, who is often oblivious to the persona's actions. This terms is first mentioned by Aristotle.

Usually, actors, actresses, performers, and authors have alter ego. It is caused by the demand to get themselves into a "new" character which is not their selves. Alter ego could go in and out as they please according to the situation in real life. Besides that an avatar or the character in game also could be considered as an alter ego. The main point is it lead us to a double life.

There are some factors why people have or created alter ego :

a. This is one way to escape for the real life. Some of us may have a dream that we can't reach or we might always live for others' expectations. It could create a pressure for people and finally make them create an alter ego to satisfy themselves.

b. This is a form of their imaginary personality. Some of the people may have an idol or ideal personality that they want to achieve. They unconciously try their best to fulfill their "ideal" self.

c. The role of their character. Some of actors, actresses, or authors may have gone into their own character too deep and unconciously let them to affect their life.

Alter ego could bring both advantage and disadvantage for someone in their life. Alter ego could change someone's personality so they could achieve their dream, please the people around them, get to work or school, etc. Most of the alter ego will help people to live their daily life. We can see the examples from most of the singers or performers. They often use a stage name in their career and they feel like they are somebody else that could do anything. Or, a woman who can lead a double life as a business woman and a mother in their life also considered has an alter ego.

On the other hand, people could have problems because of their alter ego.There's a theory, "Once a person creates an alter ego, they start dreaming about the same and living a life of their own with the alter ego." Besides that, if the alter is ego is more perfect than the core personality, it could create a low self-esteem towards individual. The alter ego could dominate their life and prevent someone to lead a normal life. We need to remember that alter ego is created as a way of escape not a solution from a problem in life.

Some confession from people who claimed that they have alter ego said that alter ego could disappear someday if we consider ourselves don't need the assistance of our alter ego. Usually, these people couldn't feel the presence of their alter ego, they could not communicate with their alter ego in their mind, and their alter ego never appears in their life to help them again. It could be a good sign that the person have accepted the reality and could face it by their own.

Here is an easy step to create an alter ego that I found in the internet :
1. Think about one or more things you wish to do with your life. Your alter ego will
have accomplished these things (e.g. your alter ego became a fashion designer)

2. Think of one above-and-beyond accomplishment for your alter ego character (e.g. your designs were featured in New York fashion week)

3. Make sure you and your character share the same interests (e.g. you like to play
guitar, so does your alter ego)

4. Give your character your personality

5. Paint a picture in your head of what you want your alter ego to look like, if this doesn't work try drawing your character.

6. Think of a name for your character. Your favorite name, or the meaning of something you value in another language.

7. Create a world for your alter ego. Include places and characters from shows you watch or books you've read.

8. Include characters based on your friends and family.

9. Create other characters that work with or are friends/family with your character.

10. Chronicle your character's every day life!

These are few things about alter ego. Hope this information could be useful for all of you.

Well, finally I've become a senior!!! LOL

Nahh, stupid mumble =='

This is the first time for me to update this blog for a looooong time.
I've been very busy this recent days. I can't even do all my daily activities well.
I also got sick few weeks ago, and i dunno what kind of illness i gotten myself into.

Okay, back to the main point, I am in XIIS1 right now!!!
Things that made me happy recently :
i. I am in a same class with so many friends of mine (although i got separated from some of my old friends T_T)
ii. My friend who is studying in China is having summer holiday in Indonesia! I haven't met her for a while ==a
iii. I could engage more to my hobby, and i even tried to self-hypnotized myself and i think it's working!!! I'm sending positive mindset to my mind!

on the other hand, there are also things that made me depressed :
a. My first English test was so messed up because i wrote wrong notes in my book
b. I only got a couple of months left to prepare EJU, TOEFL, etc.
c. The time limit for me to choose my major is getting near
d. My last assignment for my graduation is being rejected over and over!!
e. I'm getting worried about the scholarships!!!!!

Darnnnn! Geez i couldn't help myself for being stressed over small matters like this ~_~ Fortunately, i was lent an interesting book from my friend. It tells us about hypnotheraphy. I tried that, and i think it's working. I mean, i don't feel sleepy at school anymore!!!! *Hoorrrayy*

This is a brief way to self-hypnotize yourself (you may want to give a try) :
1. Command yourself to go into the "Beta" condition
2. Make yourself relax by taking deep breath, imagining good things, etc. (as long as it could make yourself feel relaxed and comfortable)
3. Test your critical area such as hands, eyes, legs, etc. to know whether you've gone completely to Beta condition or not (by trying to move it, if it can't be moved then congrats, you've done well!)
4. Begin the self-talk session
5. Give the closing session

Please have a try! You may have a problem that you can't solve, fixing your mindset is a good step to find a solution! I will probably post a new post about this self-hypnotize soon to give further information ^^

Ok,, i feel like i wanna scream rite now..
all of my stress started 3 days ago..
Because i was too busy with my school assignments and final test, i dun hav any time to find or read my favourite manga in certain mangasites. And i found that my favourite genre was removed from the sites!!!!! (well, one of my favourite genre is yaoi)

When i read the forum discussion, i found out that US policy and google who did this. HOW COME??? T_____T

Ok, that's the first thing.

Secondly, i could not di my math test at school today OTL
I was so pathetic.... I dunno why, but i never do anything well if it relates to math..
@#@*#(*$&(@$&(&

My score has already been in danger, and because of this stupid final test, i think it will drop even more!!!!!

*Stressed*

Ah geez.. i dunno how it could turn out like this myself but,,

somehow i have to join 4 competitions in a row next month???! *WTH?!*

Well, it was my own fault.. but, hey, please, how could i know it'd turn out like this?

i dun understand how come my school doesn't consider about my condition..

at first, i only planned to join P***A competition in certain public university.. and it's already taken most of my time to do all of those scientific research and scientific reports! i dun even hav a proper vacation to complete it! could u belive that? even though it was really rare 4 my school to giv vacation for their students..
*ifeellikeiwannacry*

ok,, it was the beginning of my endless suffering this last 2 months.. then,, here it comes, d 2nd competition.. i was chosen by my english debating coach to join the A**A english debating competition which is claimed as the most prestigious english competition in my country.. <<< and i agreed coz i still had time to prepare it..

the 3rd competition,, suddenly my name popped up on the school announcement board!!! my teacher chose me to join the economy national competition.. *WHAT??* but i couldn't say anything against it.. my name has already been written on d wall, so it's useless to protest now.. aaaaaaaaa i really want to scream.. i dunno whether i was happy or stress anymore. but, ofc i do feel proud at d same time..

and d last one.. last year (actually a few months ago) i was asked by the teacher of my schoolto take the preliminary test for ISDC in diknas.. i agreed. coz it has passed for quite a long time, i thought i was failed on d 2nd round. but again, suddenly a letter was given to me and they said i was chosen as my region's representative in ISDC!! i couldn't believe it myself.. i mean, i only started to debate a few months ago.. so how come i was chosen a my region's representative among many other students.. i also got 2 other teammates. when i met them today, i really got a mental breakdown.. i feel like i was a burden for both of them.. i think i should practice more 4 my english starting from now..

that's why i volunteered myself to join the debating competition on 1-3rd april.. i hope my body will last until the end of this april.. i couldn't get sick after being forced to involve with this so many competitions.. NOOOOOO

Ok,, I want to tell one of my totally embarrassing story. Last Saturday, one of my friend, Olga, enrolled me and my other 2 friends (acul and kacank) to join a cooking contest. *WTH???!* Well, it's not like i dun want to join the competition, but i just fell it doesn't sounds right. I can cook some simple dishes, but i dun have any confidence to join a competition. However, she has already written my name there, so i dun hav any choice other join the competition.

Finally, when we arrived there, we saw so many talented people gathered around and prepared to cook many unbelievable meals. I've felt I was in a wrong place, but I just kept silent and hoped that 3 of my friends could cook well, coz honestly, i've dun believe in my own cooking skill. We even hav to make a traditional dish from my country. *i've never cooked sumthin like that b4*

The worst thing i've imagined really came true. Neither me nor my other friends could cook really well. I even have to cook other dishes! We got spare raw materials, and we made a 'random' recipe based on the spare material we have.. *it's really depressing..* We couldn't finish our dishes properly. "It's not even worthed to try!!!" said one of my friends. The dish was totally messed up. It supposedly to be burnt on a raging fire *what's that?!* The dish isn't increasing your appetite at all. I was so ashamed when I saw other team's finished dishes. They were totally gorgeous and looks delicious. Farrrr way different from ours. Our team even attracted many people because of our actions. Man, I really wanted to dig a deep hole on the ground and hide in it!

When the judge came around to try every team's dish, i don't brave enough to show myself in front of them. I was trying to calm myself down at the time. I thought I could explode like a bomb. My 'sadistic' side almost appeared and I tried really hard to press it. I dun want to ruin my team's mood that was really happy about the contest. Well, i admit the contest was fun because we were able to cook happily, but i couldn't stand being in such a huge crowd and became a centre of attention because of our dish. *I wanted to scream and relieve my stress..*

Pardon me my friends.. TTxTT

Ok,, untuk pertama kalinya saia akan nge-post dlm bhs ibu saia tertjinta,, Indonesia *slapped*

Udah lama banget ga nge-post sesuatu di blog ini, ada macem2 alasan sih, sibuk sekolah, sibuk ngerjain tugas, males buka komputer, de-el-el..

Sekarang, gw lg bingung banget.. Dunia itu memang aneh bin ajaib, ga bisa ditebak, sempit, dan masih banyak ungkapan klise lainnya. Dan gw baru bener2 merasakan arti dari ungkapan2 itu akhir2 ini..

Seperti yang kalian semua tahu, gw sekolah di sekolah cewe semua yang mungkin dah kalian semua tahu namanya, ***** Akhir2 ini, gw dh bingung dan ga bisa membedakan lagi apa yang bener dan apa yang salah.

Pertama kali masuk ke sekolah itu, ada perasaan takut, penasaran, seneng, bangga, dan banyak lagi perasaan lagi yang nyampur jadi satu. Awalnya gw memang merasa terpaksa masuk sekolah itu, tapi ternyata setelah gw jalanin, gw bisa menikmati masa SMA gw.

Di sekolah itu juga gw bisa ketemu dengan macam2 tipe orang yang mungkin ga bakal ditemui kalau gw sekolah di sekolah heterogen. Ga bakal ada orang yang nyangka kalau masalah-masalah yang dihadapi di sekolah gw ini bisa sangat bervariasi bahkan melebihi dari masalah-masalah remaja di sekolah lain pada umumnya. Gw jadi bener2 ngerti kalau sesuatu yang bagus itu belum tentu sebagus kelihatannya.

Dengan masuk sekolah ini juga, gw bisa mulai melihat kalau semua orang punya berbagai masalah masing2. Jadi, kita ga blh merasa bhwa masalah kita adalah masalah terberat dan kita adalh orang yg plg malang di dunia ini. *maaf agk2 nyindir seseorang di bagian ini*

Sekarang, ayo ke inti masalah gw sekarang. Sebenarnya masalah yg gw hadapi sekarang itu banyak bgt *meski ga seluruhnya masalah pribadi gw*, tp yg bener2 jd perhatian gw sekarang adalah realita yang tidak bisa dipungkiri di sekolah gw sendiri. Gw aja ga percaya sampai bener2 melihat dan mendengar sendiri. Gw memang tahu kalau di setiap sekolah homogen pasti akan ada rumor tentang pasangan 'gay' or 'lesbian', tp gw ga prnh mimpi kalau di sekolah gw sendiri ternyata jg ada yg sperti itu. Dan bdohnya, gw baru soal gosip itu waktu kls XI.

Mungkin karena pengaruh rumor atau apapun juga, sekarang gw jadi ga tahu lagi 'batas-batas' normal antara sahabat dekat dan 'couple'. Mungkin ini memang bukan masalah gw sih, tapi akhr2 ini gw jd sk mikirin aja. Apakah dengan sekolah di sekolah homogen memberikan qt ke kecendrungan orientasi 'suka' yang salah?? Gw udah ga ngerti isi pikiran orang lain tentang definisi 'persahabatan' atau rasa 'suka' dalam otak mereka. Apa ini juga ada hubungan dengan kondisi jiwa, psikologis, atau pola pikir seseorang? Atau memang pada dasarnya semua orang punya 'bakat' untuk 'menyimpang'?

Gw memang ga bs mengerti dengan apa yg dimaksud dengan 'emosi' sampai sekarang. Mungkin ini dipengaruhi oleh pribadi gw yg terlalu cuek, gw yg bebal, atau emang gw sendiri mengalami kelainan. Gw ga bs ngerti kenapa orang2 bs sampai stress, merasa bersalah, pusing, atau apapun yg mereka rasain saat dilanda masalah atau kebingungan.

Tapi gw jg bingung, gmn cara untuk membantu temen2 gw.. Gw ga bs memberikan meraka saran atau solusi yang baik krn gw ga pernah berada di posisi yg sama dengan mereka, atau setidaknya, mengerti perasaan mereka. Jadi apa yang harusnya gw lakuin??? *bingung*

Ada yang tahu jawabannya?

About my plan for the forum, actually I've been working on it for some time, and finally it's nearly done!!!! Thanks for my friend, Eugene, who helps me in developing this forum.. Please visit http://placetotalk.forumotion.com!!!

This is a forum dedicated for anyone who has problem in their life. Don't care about any problem your problem, you can share all of your heart's content here. I hope this kind of forum could help others. Because ypu'll know that you're not the only one who has problem in this world. *somehow I seemed so wise?? LOL*

This forum is still in progress and has so many weakness or problems, so I would appreciate anyone who wants to give advice, suggestion, or even ask us about the forum. @__@

And today, I also wanted to share my experience at school!!!
One of my friend got a birthday's surprise from us. We've been avoiding her for many days in order to give her this surprise. She didn't guess about our plan at all, and this made the thing got really interesting. well, I hope she won't get mad of us because we cheated her. LOL